An Open and True Breath

I had gotten so use to feeling spun out of control. A constant victim of my inner dialogue saying “You can’t be a writer, you have struggled with writing your whole life.” Saying “you can’t find wholeness, you have always been anxious and always will be.” Now, I breathe in and say “Put a clamp on it!” I find my inner stillness and let things be. I am better able to rest in the knowing that there is no real way to ever predict the outcome of my life, let alone the very next moment. I still myself and enjoy the silence and understanding of the importance of the present now. The beauty of ending the rumination of the past, as well as the attempt to control the future. Emotions are what they are, you can not push them around. I practice contacting the reality of my present, pleasant or uneasy and then breathe to return to my center of being. Nonjudgment is a teaching that tells you to recognize the sensations, investigate them without judgment, come to an acceptance and then return to your natural state. Attempting to control emotion can be such an entrenched habit that is take a practice to shift into an accepting and loving way with yourself. We have been so habituated to run from the undesirable and to chase down what we wish was so. It is a rat race that can be altered. Creating a new habit of breathing and leaning into what is real, even if only for a few seconds opens the door for small steps towards having everything become more manageable. It was all I have strived for and now I can rest in the knowing that I have a choice in my reaction to life’s difficulties. I can be more resilient when faced with adversity. I can take and open and true breath.

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