Perfect Timing

What are you waiting for? You have a plan to stop and take care of yourself, but when? It seems that we wait for a time that’s quiet, where we feel less responsibilities and this time never comes. We possibly wait for our kids to grow up, for retirement, to have a perfect marriage or a fulfilling career. To me it seems there never comes a time when things become perfectly right or easy. A time when the responsibilities end and you have a more easy free sensation. Life just seems to bring different challenges. If you keep waiting you will wait forever. You just have to draw a line in the sand and get started. For me, I began mindful walking while pushing my first child in a baby stroller. Not ideal I know, but it worked. She would fall asleep and I would walk and count my breath. It was a good start and I continued for years with this practice. I also did it with my second child, it was easier to know they were sleeping and comfortable and not crying somewhere. It wasn’t until my second child was 2 or 3 that I finally carved out a window of time for myself to be alone on my trail and walk. It was a balancing act, as there was always someone that needed my attention. Being a mom and a meditator takes persistence and determination. I would walk and be just about to fall into the zone when someone would come running out crying about the injustice of it all, but I persisted and regrouped, used patience and went back to the breath. This was the most important gift I would ever give to myself. To stop being marginalized, do something for myself if only for 45 minutes in a twelve hour day. I believe that this also taught my girls that taking time to care for yourself was important. I know my mother was always focused on taking care of others and never took time to still and quiet her body. I just didn’t want to go down that same road, so I just made the decision to start and never looked back. It has changed everything for me. It has provided me with a joyful and balanced life, where I have more energy and focus to handle the challenges. I am grateful I began when things weren’t all set and perfect. I would still be in a holding pattern waiting for some unreal day to occur when there was not responsibility. I continue to practice and have even started to go out of the house once a week for the first time in twelve years for a meditation class. Take a small amount back for yourself, get started and it will grow into a wealth of time and space for you to take care of others. A more efficient place with less worry and planning and more presence and meaningful connectivity.

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