It seems we go around with expectations and ideas about how we believe things should be or feel. I know for me I the habit of feeling like I should be more comfortable or happy than I currently am. Or that the moment should be more exciting or motivating. So instead of resting in the present moment I struggle around waiting for an unrealistic moment that I think I should feel like. My little daughter said it perfectly, She said “yah its like when you go to a party and they give you a cupcake and you really wanted a big piece of cake.” “Its just too small!” If only life’s disappointments could remain so simple as a cupcake. Then there are the expectations we unrealistically set for ourselves. Possible achievements we think we should accomplish. We put pressure on ourselves and then beat ourselves up if we fail to go the distance. We spend a great deal of time feeling like we could have tried harder or gotten started sooner. It can become exhausting to continually worry about how things should have turned out. There is also a belief about how we think other people should treat us. Then when we are let down of they don’t live up to our expectations. The pressure we place on our relationships can become a difficulty, especially if we are really counting on them for a lot of our comfort and happiness. Finally, there is life itself. When you feel things didn’t work our the way you had planned. I know the passing of my mom continues to be a difficulty for me. To change the preconceived idea about how I envisioned that she would always be here . To change my internal plan about how I would spend more time with her continues to be a difficult adjustment. To me it seems the most beneficial way to live it to stop shoulding all over our lives. To rest in the present where things are just as they are. It is so much easier to stop the arguing with what we expected and accept the true reality. In the now there is a comfort, there is not friction, no discontent, resting in the heart of awareness is a tool to top the shoulds.
Published by One True Breath
I am a wife, mother and a pediatric occupational therapist for almost 20 years. My great hope is that this blog will be a guide for anyone seeking refuge from life's difficulties. It is a distillation of my life experience, profession and whole hearted search for peace. I wish you a wonderful and joyful journey! View all posts by One True Breath