I can not ascribe to the idea that someones time and energy is somehow more important than another’s. Well, unless that person is spending their time in kindness, generosity and joy. It seems over time, we teach others how to treat us. Sometimes, we most likely have made a silent agreement to be accommodating allowing others to tread on our hearts. The importance for us to keep the peace and preserve their comfort, enables continued poor behavior. Relationships like this ensure no growth or expansion for anyone involved. The victim of the bully is kept conveniently at a distance of being devalued. Submissive behavior is born in the body of disliking the sense of conflict. Resistance creates friction, which feels out of control and fearful. To constantly give your energy to quell another’s sense of lacking is draining, inefficient and fruitless. These are relationships build on the path of least resistance for all involved. They have a way of insidiously increasing inner fears and decreasing self worth. It is exhausting, debilitating, soul crushing and never replenishes the well. For the kind heart, walking on shells to prop up the wounder is insatiable. The way it appears humans will keep it up, as long as they are somehow benefiting from the situation. Also, there is the fact that you can never force change on another. They will constrict and push back, especially if it is seen as a threat to their security and a habit or way of usual dysfunction. Most importantly moving forward is, you are not weak and should never believe this label of convenience. The idea is to move toward demonstrating quietly your might, strength and resilience. Reallocate your resources, you carried your mountain of burden. Place your energy where the real value is, support your good, expand your secure restorative base. Resist allowing the hurt to tread on or continue to crush your value. The expansion of the agreement to give your wealth loving care is the most beneficial. The oppression that has pushed you lower, will become the fuel for your empowerment. This appears to me the way to build the fortress of unconditional loving presence and dwindle the ignorance. Dissolve the power to oppress, no more agreement to pacify the insatiable thirst of the hungry ghost of the other. Reflect your abominable soul. This is not a directive to reflect back another’s ugly. Do not lower your beauty to match wits with this element. This is a non-violent passive resistance path, one where you begin to practice reflecting silent strength. This will begin to repel cruelty, as you are shining a light on your strength and then in return their weakness. Your tolerance is a massive powerhouse of inner strength, a resource you can shift to more beneficial places. So you must prioritize your precious energy into a replenishing resource. Kindness, love, compassion and empathy are the only truly satiating value and commodity. This is a plan where you will simultaneously practice calming your system to increase your resilience and decrease your level of hyper vigilance. Your courage will take repetition and will strengthen with repeated use. Grow these seeds, pull the weeds and create your bountiful garden of blooms. Sharing love is a limitless fusion and a well of energy. Cruelty is finite and depleting like burning coal. You could look at it like curating beautiful decor to create a restorative home within your heart, a space where you can rest and enjoy your surroundings and truly the freedom of living an open life. The vision of a community filled with homes with a foundation of loving kindness that is infinite in it’s potency!
Published by One True Breath
I am a wife, mother and a pediatric occupational therapist for almost 20 years. My great hope is that this blog will be a guide for anyone seeking refuge from life's difficulties. It is a distillation of my life experience, profession and whole hearted search for peace. I wish you a wonderful and joyful journey! View all posts by One True Breath