A Love Story

It’s all been for the now, the movement of the century. A forward embracing towards the face of divine beauty. All we have done was to reside in this peaceful now. I sit amazed at this happening, how? A wedge to hold the door open. A moment in time, embodying our hearts natural rate. A crystal soul, heaven’s gate. We carried the weight, we carried the great burden. A lessening strain, free to stroll. Take the breath, cleans your weary soul. Rejuvenation of the body and home. A time for reflection, a time for growth. Sew a garden of seeds and joyfully watch love blossom. The bouquet is more beauty than one’s eyes can fathom. Seasons of splendor from lush to barren. It’s all a gift a life so full, a bountiful living. Weave a gossamer lace of energy that flows thorough eternity. A connectivity to bond and unite humanity. Our one soul, a union through no time. Free the vibration, hear the calling. Our love beckons through the mist. Listen with your whole, it is a whisper at the first. Then becomes a symphony to dance your life’s path. A love filled abundant wholeness, a bridge to the last. Awaken a shift to the source of it. Feel the predestined movement you are meant to flow within. Dance, twirl and fly you are an angel you make us come to life. A longing to see your face of beauty. Your body is filled with a radiant gift. A shared goodness to bind the masses and stem the old rifts. The meek are the rich, they contain their power. The courageous give away the sun and embrace the shadow. A ripple from your soul, to sail on the wind. The breeze carries your message, the circle is full. No barrier or fence, it is now an expansive and beautiful view. No more darkened or dim existence. A lightened carry, so heartfull and free. I simply can’t wait to write our true love story.

A Sanctuary for Mending

Is it a constant thread of worried thoughts, hedging your bets to prevent a terrible lot? In the end it’s never what you imagined anyway. This uncertainty is a constant companion, that if you let it will steal the days. The shoe that might drop, invades and consumes the years. Cease this pattern of controlling the future, it’s all empty unpredictable fears. To experience the present now, provides a stopping of the feeling of unease. These sensations of discontent with what ever currently is? Lean ever closer to your lived sense within. Facing the moment’s truth, brings it closer to a place where you simply can be still. Would it be easier to surrender in courageously or continue the slow drain? Life is filled with impermanence, the only certainty is the uncertainty. This fleeting and fragility is what makes life have it’s beauty. If we were never to have an end thing would become flat and without texture. The real freedom in it all is to see it without a barrier of hesitation. The rawness so full emotions from easy to the intolerable, no separation from the body and soul. Openness an untethered heart, a gift to yourself to find this natural state. An undercurrent that flows eternally gives a reprieve from the intensity of constant worry. Your glory resides in resting with what ever exists. Experience courageously you hard truths, it’s your best option. To come to grips with whatever you have been given. Delve bravely into the depths of your soul, whatever exists there is your unlimited gold. From easy to unbearable, give in to your truth. Rest in the ground of your being, the sensation of freedom will be your proof. An ending of continual fearful thinking, an entering into an open space. A lessening of intensity, a slower natural pace. A mirror of nature, she’s never running. You contain this flow of beauty, the sanctuary for your soul’s mending.

Reviving the Heart

Respite untouched, a life in a constant drone. No breath to ease the sorrow, what to do? Just hold on again until tomorrow. The fight seldom conquered, a sense of being broken or vanquished. Darkness a mire, steps forced to keep the movement, no glide or a rhythm. A storm cloud consumes the existence, sheer will one’s only resistance. Pain fills the days, without ability to feel the warmth of the true sun. Eyes in a glazed over habit, no longer knowing how to see without shadow. A body exists in a heavy burdenous state, the soul carries on in an endless wait. Relief simply so far away, not taught or revealed. An endless wandering in a swamp, steps slow and unbearable. A heart turns hard and the beat goes quiet. Hardly a glimpse of life, silent refuge so distant. A question of how to continue with the pain so persistent. A broken heart, a longing so deep. What should a soul do, just kneel down and weep? This is the spaciousness to enter and become unstoppable. The surrender, the ending, the letting it all go. Strength begins to expand where the suffering once was. The soul becomes stronger the light fills the rifts. A new beginning, a wonder for the once crushed. What is this new potential? An energy that moves, an eternal source never known. A light sparks the heart, a comfort beyond words gives movement towards a new dawn. The future without limits, your unknown destiny. Where in the past there was a dearth, no wonder or possibility. In a moment has become a space filled with wisdom and curiosity.

Listening to Your Truth

The teachings say to cultivate deep listening to improve connectivity within relationships. So, to me the person’s voice you hear the most is your own. Therefore, true listening to your voice is a continually available practice for you to find the foundations of connectivity within yourself. To practice a silent reflection of the absolute truth you contain no matter what. One method that is currently being used is emotional granularity, this is the idea of breaking down your emotions into the smallest of pieces. To label them with the most detail and specific description to better make sense of and to improve awareness of your feelings. Practicing expanding your emotional vocabulary, is also measured to increase self regulation and ability to tolerate difficult and stronger emotions. Utilizing the lens of investigating closely into the label of the emotions to find the original cause of the sensations. I have also grown to understand that the realization to stop trying to shove down the very truth of emotion is very crucial. You must end the effort to manipulate the sensations within. To attempt to observe the idea of how you have been conditioned to believe you should feel or what will be acceptable to society. A pre-prescribed false set of expectations or constructs placing constraints on your ability to not judge your own sensations. Of course the idea is to remain true to yourself and maintain kindness and beauty. At the same time please do not ask yourself to observe a manipulation within yourself. One that is not a mirror of your truth, but a perceived acceptability of what one thinks will be seen as compliant. This will be a powerful honesty that resides in the body, assisting in helping you to stop retracting away from difficult sensations. An empowering place where you can hear your true voice and stand tall. To face whatever the experience actually is. Where you will find an expansive place of freedom and move away from hesitation and horrible self judgment. Your thought driven emotions should not be another factor to punish yourself with. There is most definitely a fine reason to feel the way you feel. I believe when there is an internal forcing of the heart, it creates suffering and more layers of burden to add to the list. A shame or guilt that you should maintain the feeling of generosity or compassion all the time. Most likely at least for me, this is a complete impossibility. It’s likely that the challenging emotions of anger or resentment just may be built upon unfair treatment. However, in the end the causation is of no consequence. The forward movement is to find the absolute closest thing to your true voice as you can muster. To practice the anchor of the breath and listen to your body. There will be a deepening in the sound of your calling. Your persistence in resting in the reality of your own experience can give you the freedom you so desire. To end the chase and the constant inner movement toward or away from the friction. To have the courage to be steadfast and face whatever is present and tell yourself the truth. An unfathomable place of the foundations of resilience, where the transmutation of struggle occurs and shifts into ease and freedom. The home of your authentic voice and the calling to your life’s purpose.

The Replenishing Energy of Empowerment

I can not ascribe to the idea that someones time and energy is somehow more important than another’s. Well, unless that person is spending their time in kindness, generosity and joy. It seems over time, we teach others how to treat us. Sometimes, we most likely have made a silent agreement to be accommodating allowing others to tread on our hearts. The importance for us to keep the peace and preserve their comfort, enables continued poor behavior. Relationships like this ensure no growth or expansion for anyone involved. The victim of the bully is kept conveniently at a distance of being devalued. Submissive behavior is born in the body of disliking the sense of conflict. Resistance creates friction, which feels out of control and fearful. To constantly give your energy to quell another’s sense of lacking is draining, inefficient and fruitless. These are relationships build on the path of least resistance for all involved. They have a way of insidiously increasing inner fears and decreasing self worth. It is exhausting, debilitating, soul crushing and never replenishes the well. For the kind heart, walking on shells to prop up the wounder is insatiable. The way it appears humans will keep it up, as long as they are somehow benefiting from the situation. Also, there is the fact that you can never force change on another. They will constrict and push back, especially if it is seen as a threat to their security and a habit or way of usual dysfunction. Most importantly moving forward is, you are not weak and should never believe this label of convenience. The idea is to move toward demonstrating quietly your might, strength and resilience. Reallocate your resources, you carried your mountain of burden. Place your energy where the real value is, support your good, expand your secure restorative base. Resist allowing the hurt to tread on or continue to crush your value. The expansion of the agreement to give your wealth loving care is the most beneficial. The oppression that has pushed you lower, will become the fuel for your empowerment. This appears to me the way to build the fortress of unconditional loving presence and dwindle the ignorance. Dissolve the power to oppress, no more agreement to pacify the insatiable thirst of the hungry ghost of the other. Reflect your abominable soul. This is not a directive to reflect back another’s ugly. Do not lower your beauty to match wits with this element. This is a non-violent passive resistance path, one where you begin to practice reflecting silent strength. This will begin to repel cruelty, as you are shining a light on your strength and then in return their weakness. Your tolerance is a massive powerhouse of inner strength, a resource you can shift to more beneficial places. So you must prioritize your precious energy into a replenishing resource. Kindness, love, compassion and empathy are the only truly satiating value and commodity. This is a plan where you will simultaneously practice calming your system to increase your resilience and decrease your level of hyper vigilance. Your courage will take repetition and will strengthen with repeated use. Grow these seeds, pull the weeds and create your bountiful garden of blooms. Sharing love is a limitless fusion and a well of energy. Cruelty is finite and depleting like burning coal. You could look at it like curating beautiful decor to create a restorative home within your heart, a space where you can rest and enjoy your surroundings and truly the freedom of living an open life. The vision of a community filled with homes with a foundation of loving kindness that is infinite in it’s potency!

The Sanctuary of Grace

One hard truth, this sensation of immense uncertainty. The heart in worry, to grasp and brace takes boundless energy. To make order an impossibility. To endure, fall below the chaos. Leave behind being tossed in the waves, seek the calm under the surface. The space of stillness, breathe in and revive. The warmth, the beauty, the silence the grace. Release the grip, edge the battle. The time has come to rest within the eye of the storm. To end the argument with the bodies constriction, to care deeply for your dear soul’s burden. You are pure beauty, let go of the illusion. The brutal and relentless thinking is unneeded and wounding. Your birth is a gift and your freedom is certain. The love we contain is meant to shelter. The beat of the heart, the rhythmic music of the souls solace. Breathe in and slow the rate, feel the divine sanction. The alleviation will be necessary, the quiet a space of lessening pressures. The eyes see without a haze, the sound is free and a symphony so tranquil. A hope filled palace, a promised castle. A home within the heart, to shield the grief and anguish. A heaviness unbearable, to endure will require a release of the desire for order. A serenity resides in the complete letting go into the moment. Sense the heart and own it bravely, accept the belly and cradle it gently. The truth of the here and now will be the gate. To run will be more pain that you should not take. Come to a stopping, release your march. Kneel down and breathe out, close your eyes. Let the love free, no more resistance to the eternal vein of your true home, a sanctuary.

Replenishing the Heart

Without the sunset we would witness no dawn, no storm clouds without calm. This is the rhythm of our existence. The moments of love we share between, fill our souls with the strength to sustain. A sense of a full heart that comforts us, a cherished glance or a loving embrace are a most powerful source. The moments are the measure, brief windows of loving presence add up to a fulfilled and abundant existence. A smile shared or a wiped tear are the currency that support our hearts to endure. Love between gives a sanctuary like no other, supportive words to comfort and shelter. This sharing of yourself, brings you strength to walk forth with courage. An exchange based on mutual kindness and compassion, our ability to withstand will be shored up by our giving presence and understanding. These moments empty the heart of worry and bring a natural loving silence, a warm quilt to rest the weary. The reciprocal love will lighten the burden and create ease, a reprieve so needed. Joy given enlivens the heart, a smile to mend the tear. A divine order, to draw us closer to provide a space to shelter another. The reflection of one’s inner wealth brings them comfort and steadiness to carry through. Then a new found strength to share forward this truth. This will be the fabric to endure, a shelter of love and support that will help us rise and restore. A new dawn full of promise and connectivity, one of hope for healing and loving prosperity.

The Universal Value of the Unconditional Soul

I’m truly almost at a loss for how to express my complete and utter inability to be complicit in the broken construct of stigma.  Especially the stigma of people with disabilities that are completely unable to defend themselves.  This overwhelming sensation comes from many sources. Honestly, from my own experience with hiding from the spirit crushing weight of stigma.  Now, seeing my own children’s light being dimmed due to their perceived lackings and lastly a very unfathomable statistic that was shared by my supervisor at our special education opening meeting.  She reported that through reserch it would most likely take a jaw dropping 150 years for the stigma of disability to vanish.  I thought even if they are only half right that’s still 75 years and most likely I and quite possibly my own children would never live long enough to experience this day.  It became a bone crushing reality for me as I sat there next to my husband whom between the two of us have worked for a combined 40 years to improve and enhance the wellbeing of this population.  To meet them where they flourish and to give them freedom and a sense of enjoyment.  To adapt their world to expand independence.  I looked around the rest of the room and quite frankly couldn’t stomach what the actual number of years would add up too that we all had worked together to foster these environments.  I simply am unable to accept this as truth!  To be honest the way I see it is that the most vulnerable must be the easiest target otherwise how in the world could this be perpetuated for at least two more generations?  So to me stigma of any kind is based on fear of differences.  It’s destructive, divisive and propagated by being a living example.  It is a quick and easy way to shine the light on perceived lacking in others, so you can deflect your own deep feelings of lacking.  To me it is a broken down rusty construct that hurts people sometimes irreparably so.  I see this most prevalently in the very accepted cultural view that achievement is the end all be all goal.  This notion to smile and support a natural achiever and to frown upon and build a sense of lack in a person who may have to work very hard for every small gain.  I have strong opinions about how this accepted structure treads upon both ends of the continuum from achiever to the challenged.  It robs them both of freedom and self worth.  This gives all children the strong sense that they learn early on that their support is very conditional and if they do fail there will be the negative consequences of shame! I ask in the history of civilization has turning on someones sense of fear created an environment of openness and learning?  Does continual repetative negative lens create open space for curiosity?  It’s simple, fear and stress close down the front of the brain where learning occurs and then turns on the lower portions, where hypervigalence and survival take place.  I have personally witnessed this occur. I have watched a child full of wonder, a sense of expansive freedom be single handedly crushed and internal sense of lack be turned on overnight.  This may have life long consequences and can often can feel insurmountable for decades.  The wondertime of childhood joy and openness is too quickly ended and the eyes ceased to shine quite as bright, quite possibly never again!  I believe we are just beginning to see the consequences of this accepted infrastructure of expecting perfection. A direct reflection is the suicide rate skyrocketing in our youth.  I feel I have entered a place where I am simply unable to not speak up.  It’s difficult to feel exposed, but if I don’t then I just find it impossible to live with that.  In my belief this can only be overcome by telling the truth.  It has to be seen and questioned and in the end, all of us will need to look deeply within ourselves at our own sense of lacking.  Why do we hold these beliefs that separate and divide us?  How does this constant guarding of our own image keep us from true connectivity?  It is a deeply engrained trait in all humans to avoid being vulnerable, to have an endless stream of thoughts about how to control other’s perception of us.  This is perpetuated through culture and it seems so worn out.  To me it is a broken notion that someone has more value based on anything. I spend time working with unconditional beings who don’t measure their relationships and in my opinion if we need to measure things, maybe this should be measured as having more value than containing  judgments and shaming?

The Truth of Emotion

It is very likely that for most of us there is an increasing sense of tension right now created by our current circumstances. At least this is a truth for me. I find myself feeling guilty that I should remain in a calm restful state, but struggle to obtain an easeful level of being for any duration. I thought about how the extra layer of “should-ing myself” was only further exacerbating my level of constriction. I realized that for all humans, we have evolved to be quick to react when stressed or encountering danger. It seems likely that the current world conditions are sending out signals to adapt or face threat. In my experience awareness and mindfulness are used to decrease habitual consuming thought streams, to bring peace and a sense of ease. It is also taught that if threatened you don’t just sit there in bliss, by all means react to defend the body. It seems that environmental demands being placed on our bodies and nervous systems make our uneasiness justified and valid. The inner tension is a direct reflection of our individual response to avoid being annihilated. To protect ourselves, families and community. A simple evolutionary response to a sense of lacking. Therefore in my opinion right now, it seems that demanding even more of your stressed body is too much to ask. To rest in the now ultimately requires a direct relationship with what ever emotion is present within the body. There is a new term described as “toxic positivity”, it is where you attempt to force an inner truth of emotion with positive thinking to change your reality. This is impossible as emotions always tell the truth, no matter what you try to think. I believe the best way forward is the same as it has always been. To gently move closer to the sensations in the present now. I think the awareness that these current sensations may be a bit more of a challenge, though very understandable is the key to respite. The concept of self compassion is also integral to this restoration. The forgiving of the self if overtaken by reactivity. If yelling occurs, to have the recognition that it is only the overflow of an overwhelmed system. Returning to the sensations of over reactivity within the body is the first step in overriding this quick response. The breath is the anchor, the emotion is the barometer and the calm shifts the continued behavior.

The Origins of Our Future

Last year, I wrote an inspired vision of what I believed the origins of our existence may have looked like. I hesitated to share as I was worried that it might be too subjective, but now it seems we are all at a crossroads. So, I am hopeful that the beauty will out-weigh the risk of my lacking of measured certainties. When I envision our origins, it seems a time of great ingenuity and an ever growing space of imagination and wanderlust. Science has recently reported a village located on the shore of what was once a lake that has now become a salt flat. It is most likely the home of our most distant ancestors. At our base for millennia we were industrious beings creating stone tools, making fire for cooking and warmth, care taking, hunting, fishing and creating clothing and shelter. Creativity and looking into the unknown were also being explored with arts including painting, singing, dancing and in my opinion our most immense innovation, symbol making and the origins of language. These beautiful occupations were all being developed simultaneously with our bodies in motion. Trekking great distances, to over time inhabit the entirety of our planet. To me this important factor of rhythmic movement was crucial in lulling our nervous systems into balance. I imagine us walking in-sync in small family groups, likely singing to keep time and creating a trance like state of calm to rest the system. I imagine the end of the day as a time for resting, eating and sharing wisdom. A time of reflection and understanding the lessons of the day. A space of sharing stories about the past, as well as sharing innovations and ideas for a continued future. Our wild environment was filled with integrating sensory input of forests, mountains, coasts, rivers, lakes, with wind, rain, crashing waves, fires flickering, birds calling and leaves on the breeze. Nature contains its own quiet, slow rhythm and we all evolved immersed within this stillness. In my view, the lack of nature in our modern lifestyle is the current cause of our ever growing levels of mental health concerns. To me our occupations and the natural environment in which we carried them out, gave us regulation and well being. A human sensory system requires heavy work, rhythmic movement and shifting senses to evaluate a dynamic environment. For most of us it seems we are only in nature occasionally, which most likely results in our collective sensory deprivation. This creates a system with no way to relieve inner built up body tensions. This constriction remains stored in the body with limited ways to release it. So in my view, all of the conditions we evolved within for millennia were necessary for our well being. Things have shifted rapidly in our culture over a short one hundred years. From the invention of the light bulb, now to endless access to any technological feature. This drastic shift seems to be taking it’s toll on our sensory regulating systems. The speed of culture is taxing and creates a sensation of dis-regulation and overwhelm. While, of course I am grateful for our advancements, some return to a slower more balanced pace if even for brief moments in one’s day would be exponentially beneficial. These moments of deceleration will expand overtime making room for respite, well-being and inspirations. These quiet moments of insight might possibly help us to find solutions to the issues we are challenged by at this current time. This could possibly create an explosion of stored up creativity and beauty and a currently unknown level of successful adaption. A potent time for all of us to be living, with the signals to adapt and to reach toward our greater potential. This will be the new frontier of our wealth with compassion, freedom and communion to crush fear and division. A lofty common goal for connection of our intertwined family tree.